🫖 Alice Spills the Tea: ☕️ EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT! ☕️
Oh, you darling little mortals and wide-eyed newcomers! It seems there’s been a bit of confusion (and by "confusion," I mean some of you have the absolute audacity to forget who I am). So, allow me - Alice, the Mad Mad Queen - to set the record straight before anyone gets any silly ideas about proper etiquette in my kingdom of storytelling chaos.
Now, let’s get one thing absolutely clear: I am not your standard, run-of-the-mill, crown-wearing, rule-abiding, sit-on-a-throne-and-look-pretty Queen. Oh, no, no, no! That’s far too dull for me. I am the Mad Mad Queen!
Not truly a queen, but an experience, an extravaganza, a whirlwind of theatrical brilliance that cannot be contained by mere titles. A triple personality masterpiece - the sweetness of Alice, the madness of the Hatter, and the fiery wrath of the Queen of Hearts, all wrapped in one fabulous, storytelling, chaos-bringing Daywalker extraordinaire. And yes, darlings, I do live in a marvelous Rosehaven Castle surrounded by crimson rose courtyards, because a Queen - mad or not - deserves the aesthetic.
Still with me? Good. Now let’s talk business.
You see, I don’t just sit here sipping tea and looking fabulous (though, let’s be honest, I do that exceptionally well). I tell stories. And not just any stories - no, no, no - I weave the most scandalous, mystical, utterly spellbinding tales this world has ever seen! Stories that break the boundaries of time, reality, and sanity (but in a very charming way, of course).
And where, pray tell, do these stories unfold?
Well, darlings, that’s the important part, so do pay attention:
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My official domain of madness, where I spill all the tea, secrets, and wildly unverified gossip (which, frankly, makes it even better) is Alice’s Mad Tea Party. Here, the tea is hot, the stories are scandalous, and reality is purely optional.
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But I’m not the only chaos-bringer in this world! Over at The Immortal Gazette, I share the stage with none other than Loki, the Trickster God himself (yes, that one), and dear old Rumplestiltskin, who spins more than just gold - he spins stories and trouble, and honestly, I respect it. Together, we serve up the real tales behind myths, legends, and all the scandalous immortal drama you never knew you needed.
So, my darling mortals and newly-initiated chaos seekers, let this serve as your formal introduction - or, for those of you who foolishly forgot, a rather dramatic reminder. I am Alice, the Mad Mad Queen, the master storyteller, the chaos incarnate Queen if Ink and Lore, and the only authority on which tea is worth spilling.
Welcome to my world, dearies. Buckle up, grab a cup of tea, and prepare for absolute madness.
Now, let’s really spill some tea, shall we?
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